The Quality of Life Blog
Recognizing the Limits of “Do What You Love”
August 25, 2009 by Mark T. Rafter · Leave a Comment
In the last post I mentioned that finding your purpose might just be as easy as figuring out what you love doing and what you are good at doing and then figuring out how to make a living doing just that.
Works … sometimes. Think about it. How many starving artists and musicians are there? How many frustrated athletes who were the best in their high school and never started in college let alone get into the pros. Plenty of stories of people who followed their dream into bankruptcy.
What happened? If this is my “purpose” Mr Smart Guy, why didnt I succeed. Where is my Nike endorsement contract? Why doesnt The Donald return my calls? Why is God messing with me.
Actor Kirk Douglas had a great line (paraphrasing): “God answers all prayers. Sometimes the answer is ‘No.’” I suppose the quick way to wind down this post (part of my committment to write shorter blog posts) is when you are looking for your purpose, your passion your place, you have to be honest with yourself: is this real or just something you THINK you want? It is referred to as a ‘calling’ for a reason: is this what is really calling you or is it your ego talking? Recognizing that it doesnt always work out and you may have to ‘do what pays,’ for awhile longer while the planets line up is a call you may have to make.
I quit a long - and highly profitable - career in engineering to do my own thing. I was pretty successful but a) it was not quite right (more on that in a later blog) and b) I was not paying my bills (that is called cash flow negative in the financial parlance. I more into the idea of writing a book and being a trainer/speaker than having that be a call I was answering. So I went back to work in engineering. Now, my situation has changed in many ways and I am getting back into writing and speaking for more of the right reasons than I had before. I’ll get to that next post.
Heard a good joke from a homeless woman yesterday on the beach in La Jolla, CA:
What to know how to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans for the day.
Success Principle #2: Be Clear Why You Are Here
August 20, 2009 by Mark T. Rafter · 1 Comment
OK, week #2 and 2nd in the series “Mark & Jack: 52.4 Weeks of Living the Success Principles.” This week we deal with purpose, significance, meaningful lives … lightweight stuff like that.
Some people drift aimlessly through life. Others specifically state that humans (themselves included I suspect) have no purpose or that the question - what is your purpose in life - is meaningless.
I dont buy it.
If you get into a spiritual arguement about the meaning or existence of God, free will and if you have a role as a part of God’s plan, I agree - this might make your head hurt. However, if you are able to discover how your life has meaning and significance you are on the right track. How do you do this?This is exactly what I teach people how to do in developing Your Inner Expert, my method of helping people to develop a niche that is willing and able to compensate you for what you do best: Be Yourself.
The first step is to Identify Your Inner Expert - who you are, what you want and the passions and Read more
You Are 100% Responsible for Your Life (Principles of Success)
August 17, 2009 by Mark T. Rafter · Leave a Comment
I have been living this Success Principle now for just about a week (Success Principle #2 is Coming on Wednesday). I have had one epiphany and a couple of realizations.
Epiphany: When you live in the Now, there is no way to be OTHER THAN 100% responsible for your life. I am a big fan of Eckhart Tolle - when you are truly in the moment, there is nothing but your consciousness, your presence. How can anyone or anything else get in there? You make your decisions about what to perceive, how to react, what to feel. Complaints about your past? Experienced in the present. Fear about the future? Experienced in the present. No one else to blame … no excuses for what and who you are.
Realization #1: 100% responsibility for your life means: no complaining, gossiping, or blaming. Try doing NONE of those for just a day. It’s hard but you can do it. Read more
Mark & Jack: 52.4 Weeks Living The Success Principles
August 11, 2009 by Mark T. Rafter · Leave a Comment
The new movie (based on the book) entitled Julie & Julia chronicles the events in the life of chef Julia Child, contrasting her life with Julie Powell, a woman who aspires to cook all 524 recipes from Child’s cookbook, The Joy of French Cooking. Julie comes alive as she expands her view of life vicariously through … yes, you guessed it, the joy of cooking.
I’m going to do something similar. Jack Canfield (and to be fair, co-author Janet Switzer) wrote a book a few years ago called The Success Principles, including in there all of the thinking, behaviors, actions, etc that the co-creator of The Chicken Soup for the Soul series recommends for anyone who wants to be successful.
I dont know about you but I have read plenty of books on success, talked with and even interviewed dozens of people about it and included part of a chapter in my own book (The Wealth Manifesto) dedicated to what it takes to be successful.
But, so what, ya know? There are SO MANY principles for success, so many books (doing a book search on amazon.com for “success” came up with 856,592 results … Jack’s book was listed first BTW), how is anyone going to know what are the “best” principles of success? What are the ones you just CANNOT be successful without? I tried to do this in my book but really didnt have close to enough pages to cover all I thought was important.
So I had an idea: Why not live The Success Principles as detailed by Jack and let everyone know what a (semi) real guy thinks of it, what really really worked for me and why. And, most importantly, come up with my own method of discovery that you can use too to find out what success means to you?
My next blog will explore more on why I want to do this and what you can learn from it. Talk soon!
“Men climb mountains because they’re there; men make art because it’s not.”
-Peter Voulkas, American Ceramic Artist
The 9 Steps to Wealth, Part 3
October 9, 2008 by Mark T. Rafter · Leave a Comment
This is the last in a three part series of the 9 steps to wealth where we are going to finish up with Steps 7 through 9. Check the archives for the other installments.
Step 7: Develop Your Entrepreneurial DNA
Author and speaker Jim Rohn once commented that the best thing about being a millionaire was the type of person you had to become to get there. Being a successful entrepreneur is sort of like that as well (even if you have not yet got to millionaire status). You have to be clear on what you want, willing to use everything you got to get there and rely on proven entrepreneurial skills and systems to streamline your path.
Once you get through all of that, you are likely to be a heckuva fine human being!
The principles of entrepreneurship help you to monetize Your Inner Expert. You don’t necessarily have to take a lot of risks, you don’t have to be a “techie” or invent something (the latter wouldn’t hurt however). You don’t have to be lucky (although that doesn’t hurt either). What you do have to do is find the market niche that is willing to pay you for your expertise. Do you remember Venn Diagrams from 5th or 6th grade math? You have to look for the “intersection of sets” between the expertise you have to offer and the market need you have identified.
For more on what I think are the essential entrepreneurial skills, check out Chapter 11 in my book, The Wealth Manifesto.
Step 8: Apply It To The Market Read more
The 9 Steps to Wealth, Part 2
October 1, 2008 by Mark T. Rafter · 1 Comment
A few days ago, I posted part 1 of this three part series on the 9 Steps to Wealth. Today I’m going to do the second installment covering steps 4, 5 and 6. This material is adapted from my book The Wealth Manifesto, which you can pick up on amazon.com or elsewhere here on my website (shameless plug but what the heck … it’s a good book!)
Step 4: Identify What You Want - In order to be wealthy, you have to know what wealthy looks like to you, what it feels like to you, what it means to you. I teach people that wealth is abundance and satisfaction in all areas of your life that are important to you. Just as an aside, if you go back to Part 1 of this blog series where I talk about systems … these are the Outputs of your wealth building system.
So, we have to identify those dimensions and what you want. I spend about 2 hours going over this in my workshops so for now, a list of the most common dimensions people work with will have to do. I say most common because a) your list might contain different things and b) it might only be a few things. So, the top 9 dimensions of wealth are:
- Health and fitness (physical)
- Learning (mental)
- Relationships (relational)
- Service (charitable)
- Self-esteem / Self-worth (personal) Read more
Your Inner Expert
September 8, 2008 by Mark T. Rafter · Leave a Comment
Titles are something I really pay attention to. Not ‘Vice President’ or ‘Chief Uselessness Officer’ … not those kind. Title of books, of blogs, of Mice and Men. I have been bouncing around with what to call this blog. Part of the reason for that it that it’s purpose is changing … moving away from specifically blogging about The Wealth Manifesto and moving on to bigger things.
Just to let you know, this blog is going to be moved as I get set up to explode into the wealth building consciousness of the Internet (LOL … yes it WILL happen .. not quite tomorrow). It’s going over to www.markrafter.com/blog so this is a heads up to look there if this is nothing at the current URL one of these days real soon.
My expertise is gradually starting to gel as I work with more people as a coach and I find out what they need most and where they are getting the most value from working with me. I’ve oriented my main speaking program around the same area as it is REALLY resonating with entrepreneurs and small business owners:
How to identify, maxmize and monetize your inner expert…
In short, I’m an expert on helping people becoming experts (mostly at being themselves as it turns out). The whole point of doing this - in my way of looking at things - is to become wealthy. So, this blog is will start to focus more on my views on the philosophy of wealth and abundance and how to get whatever you want out of life using your strenghts and passions (that’s the foundation of your Inner Expert). Here I’ll talk mostly about the Identify and Maximize parts … that more the “people” part of the system.
The monetization part … how to build financial wealth is going to be at my new blog over on Integrated Wealth Resources. This is where we apply your expertise to the very real world of markets and money.
That is going to turn into a WHOLE ‘nother thing … starting real soon … so stay tuned
Article 8: Competencies are the Building Blocks of Wealth
June 25, 2008 by Mark T. Rafter · Leave a Comment
Competencies, capacities, strengths …. all are talking about the same thing: what can you do?
Competencies are a major component of our Wealth Potential and include the combination of talents, skills, knowledge, experiences, contacts and many more resources that are an integral part of who we are. It is a part of the Unique Value Proposition that each of us can contribute in exchange for what we want, specifically, wealth in whatever dimension we desire.
If you are employed, your employer expects that you will contribute value to the company’s objectives above and beyond what they are paying you. If you buy a service - cell phones, yard maintenance, business coaching … whatever - you expect a certain value in return for the money you pay.
If you help your neighbor rebuild his deck, you have a reasonable expectation that he will return the favor. This is not necessarily WHY you help him in the first place as giving of yourself has it’s own rewards beyond an in-kind exchange. Realistically though, you would feel as though the balance sheet was a bit awry if when it came time to rebuild your deck, The Neighbor was ‘tied-up’ for three weekends in a row.
Identifying and deploying your competencies builds on the foundation of values I discussed in an earlier post. It is an integral part of The Wealth Manifesto system and something everyone can do … everyone can create value.
This is part of the path to wealth.
Article 7: Values are the Foundation of Wealth
May 12, 2008 by Mark T. Rafter · Leave a Comment
When you find something to be valuable, it is a reflection of your values. All of those things which you find valuable in your life form your system of values.
It is this collection of values, most of them reflecting our beliefs and those we grew up with, that we use to make decisions everyday about the tradeoffs in our lives. More work vs. less time with the kids, more exercise vs. less dessert, being honest vs. lying to get what you want etc. This is one function of our system of values. You will make choices between these kinds of things based on what is most important to you at a given time in your life. Read more
Divine Grace - The Consecration of Your Soul
March 14, 2008 by Mark T. Rafter · Leave a Comment
This title sort of came from, well, divine grace? Out of the blue? My subconscious? Today’s writing goes deep…
One of things about writing a book is that you and your ideas at the time of printing are frozen forevermore. One of the nice things about something like a blog or a newsletter is that you can keep your readers up to date on what you thinking about, how your thinking is evolving, what new revelations have come your way. The idea - I have been told this is the idea anyway - is that you build a relationship with those readers, they get to know you, and if they appreciate what you have to say, they hang around to see what you are going to say next.
In the course of writing The Wealth Manifesto, a number of profound changes have come over me. I have told a few close friends that the book is the way I plan to live my life. In it are many things that I have learned and experienced and do in fact live everyday. Others are things I know to be true by observing others or through research. Still others are the way I would like to be but just don’t have my act together to quite be there yet. One of these is my own spirituality. I’m on a journey - just as every other conscious being - to discover more about my own spiritual wellbeing.
One of the ways that I suggest as an avenue to discover that about yourself is through your Wealth Potential. In my book, I proposed the idea that this is one of the most tangible methods to uncover purpose and create meaning in your life. When you are using your capacities, your passions, working in alignment with your values and what feels good, you are fulfilling your part. You are doing what you were meant to be doing. This does not mean you have to believe in anything - God, Higher Power, etc. - other than yourself. You and you alone are able to create meaning in your life. I can figure out what my gifts are, what I am passionate about, what interests and fulfills me. Attaching significance does not need to go beyond ‘I am enjoying life. I am content. Doing (this) makes my happy.’ If your beliefs are religious and you are fulfilling God’s will, God’s plan for you, deploying and putting your Wealth Potential into use works seamlessly with any religious preference. God is the Creator of all things, including you. If you are using your God-given talents and everything else that you are, it is impossible for you to be doing anything but operating according to God’s plan.
I do believe of course, that there is a connection between us and the Infinite. That our Wealth Potential - our ability to create value and enhance our own wellbeing and that of others - is a form of personal sacrament. It is our connection to the superconscious mind that is the Source of all intuition, the Source of unlimited abundance and how we do indeed play our part in this synergy of life. Our Wealth Potential is the real world manifestation of our sacred purpose, the consecration of our heart and soul to creating wealth. For ourselves and the world.
That is big ….
